Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A Mix of Emotions


A lot has been going on lately. Let's get to the good things first. Devan and I started building our house yesterday. I can't believe house fast it is going up. Our builder, Steve, is amazing. He has been at the job every day and lining up the subs as fast as he can. At this rate we will be at our part within a couple of weeks. Devan and I (along with the help of Sam, Lance, Price and everyone else who has volunteered) are doing the heating and air conditioning, electrical and roofing. It all hits at the same time...so we are looking forward to being incredibly busy for several weeks.

It is hard to imagine that we are finally are building our house. It seems like we have been trying to get to this point forever. We started this process 3 years ago. That is when we started looking for our lot. Crazy!!!
Something not so wonderful going on is that tomorrow is Charlie's birthday. He would have been 25. This first year of holidays has been really hard. Plus, Sunday is Mother's Day...another not good day. No matter where we were or what we were doing, I ALWAYS talked to Charlie on his birthday. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to write, but I can't seem to find the words to express how sad I am.

On Sunday Devan and I are giving talks. How do you talk about Mother's Day in a positive way over the pulpit when you know your own mother is having the worst Mother's Day of her entire life. I think I am going to stay away from anything personal...I'm not quite ready for all of that yet. Devan and I are going to go to the temple tomorrow. I hope afterwards I feel a little bit better.
Thanks to everyone for all of your support still. I might not show it all of the time, but I am still sad a lot. Just hanging out with friends and family help me out. Life is not as sad when I am around great friends to share my experiences with.